Thursday, 30 October 2014
Entertainment Health Hazards: Hilarious! Nigerian Superstars as Diseases…by Chris Ogunlowo
I saw this article on thenet.ng written by Chris Ogunlowo and I found it so hilarious that I had to share it here. It's famous Nigerians as diseases. Enjoy below...
4. D’banj Obsessive Disorder: A disease characterized by the feeling that one’s best days are firmly behind and, as a result, one looks for outlets to compensate for fading stardom and income, including taking relief in farming-
5. Dangotiosis: A condition marked by an obsession with Dangote‘s wealth, only curable by a decision to mind one’s own business.
6. Lindapilepsy: A strong and strange resentment that occurs when news of Linda Ikeji’s wealth arises, which is commonly observed among struggling publicists, jealous digital marketers, hungry journalists, and retired or rival bloggers.
7. Iyanyamariasis: The abnormal ability of a cell to spot errors in its former ways before proceeding to create a trademark style that takes waist gyrations to nerve-racking heights with performances worthy of Mr. Universe Pageantry.
8. Tontolitis: The debilitating ability to sustain fame in an erratic way as it was acquired while still smiling to the bank.
9. PSquarisasis: When two malignant cells take the understanding of a market to unprecedented heights resulting in a dominance previously thought impossible and doing it with a discernible Igbo accent.
10. Don Jazzy Disorder: A disorder that makes an organ produce back-to-back hits and maintain a social equity that can embarrass pastors and politicians, including a social media addiction and an idiosyncratic singing style that impresses.
11. Kceeosis: A cell’s ability to confuse celebrity with a right to make embarrassing wardrobe choices and a knack for coming out even more horrendous than a previous time despite public outcry and bile from popular bloggers.
12. Jenniferiasis: The ability of an organ to exhibit behavior that would ordinarily be considered razz to a point where the lines between acting and reality are blurred but compensated with popular adulation and brand endorsements.
13. MIplasia: A type of dwarfism that compensates the lack of bone growth with incredible rhyming prowess and a persona capable of inducing endless admiration and beef from hustling rappers.
14. Ice Prince Cerebral Cramps: A disorder that causes exaggerated hip-hop postures, a rigid conformity to infantile end-rhymes that turn rap songs into mainstream classics and also results in multiple awards than most “serious” rappers.
15. Mode Complex: An affliction that causes an artist to be the default reference for prodigious & clever wordplay that, sadly, does not correlate with the amount of albums sold or account balance, a living proof of the saying: ‘grammar no be money’.
16. Dakolomentality: A rare psychotic disorder that inflicts a sufferer with unlimited guttural talent but indistinctive brand positioning & packaging.
17. Olamide Palsy: A malignant tumor that involves a blatant display of one’s ethnicity and background combined with traits mostly reserved for touts but interestingly made into a premium musical package that surprises earlier sufferers of the same tumor who faded into obscurity.
18. Phynognomy: A severe condition similar to Olamide Palsy but with an Igbo flair and an ability to turn what would have been a bad hair day for most into a phenomenal signature look.
19. Bella Naija Syndrome: An affliction whereby the Nigerian national man-hour is spent keeping track of who wore what to where until one wakes up to the reality of a wasted lifetime.
20. Kedike Syndrome: A syndrome that causes a sufferer to endure a clean image despite the presence of a latent sexuality which experts guess might lead to a Rihanna Crisis or, in the extreme, a psychiatric condition of Miley Cyrus proportions
1. Wizkid Syndrome: A chronic tendency to create catchy and repetitive hits to a loyal fan base with a boyish charm that induces envy from peers and late-bloomers, which also hides the fact, that one is approaching quarter-life.
2. Davidotis: A psychiatric condition whereby a sufferer survives speculations of whether genuine talent or one’s father’s wealth is the source of one’s success, alongside a pervading comparison with an equally talented whiz-kid.3. Tuface Syndrome: A rare syndrome that occurs when prodigious talent meets prodigious baby-making ability but with a legendary status, strong social equity and a staying power that keep a whole industry in awe.
4. D’banj Obsessive Disorder: A disease characterized by the feeling that one’s best days are firmly behind and, as a result, one looks for outlets to compensate for fading stardom and income, including taking relief in farming-
5. Dangotiosis: A condition marked by an obsession with Dangote‘s wealth, only curable by a decision to mind one’s own business.
6. Lindapilepsy: A strong and strange resentment that occurs when news of Linda Ikeji’s wealth arises, which is commonly observed among struggling publicists, jealous digital marketers, hungry journalists, and retired or rival bloggers.
7. Iyanyamariasis: The abnormal ability of a cell to spot errors in its former ways before proceeding to create a trademark style that takes waist gyrations to nerve-racking heights with performances worthy of Mr. Universe Pageantry.
8. Tontolitis: The debilitating ability to sustain fame in an erratic way as it was acquired while still smiling to the bank.
9. PSquarisasis: When two malignant cells take the understanding of a market to unprecedented heights resulting in a dominance previously thought impossible and doing it with a discernible Igbo accent.
10. Don Jazzy Disorder: A disorder that makes an organ produce back-to-back hits and maintain a social equity that can embarrass pastors and politicians, including a social media addiction and an idiosyncratic singing style that impresses.
11. Kceeosis: A cell’s ability to confuse celebrity with a right to make embarrassing wardrobe choices and a knack for coming out even more horrendous than a previous time despite public outcry and bile from popular bloggers.
12. Jenniferiasis: The ability of an organ to exhibit behavior that would ordinarily be considered razz to a point where the lines between acting and reality are blurred but compensated with popular adulation and brand endorsements.
13. MIplasia: A type of dwarfism that compensates the lack of bone growth with incredible rhyming prowess and a persona capable of inducing endless admiration and beef from hustling rappers.
14. Ice Prince Cerebral Cramps: A disorder that causes exaggerated hip-hop postures, a rigid conformity to infantile end-rhymes that turn rap songs into mainstream classics and also results in multiple awards than most “serious” rappers.
15. Mode Complex: An affliction that causes an artist to be the default reference for prodigious & clever wordplay that, sadly, does not correlate with the amount of albums sold or account balance, a living proof of the saying: ‘grammar no be money’.
16. Dakolomentality: A rare psychotic disorder that inflicts a sufferer with unlimited guttural talent but indistinctive brand positioning & packaging.
17. Olamide Palsy: A malignant tumor that involves a blatant display of one’s ethnicity and background combined with traits mostly reserved for touts but interestingly made into a premium musical package that surprises earlier sufferers of the same tumor who faded into obscurity.
18. Phynognomy: A severe condition similar to Olamide Palsy but with an Igbo flair and an ability to turn what would have been a bad hair day for most into a phenomenal signature look.
19. Bella Naija Syndrome: An affliction whereby the Nigerian national man-hour is spent keeping track of who wore what to where until one wakes up to the reality of a wasted lifetime.
20. Kedike Syndrome: A syndrome that causes a sufferer to endure a clean image despite the presence of a latent sexuality which experts guess might lead to a Rihanna Crisis or, in the extreme, a psychiatric condition of Miley Cyrus proportions
"A successful woman with no husband will not be respected" Mrs Nike Akande
"I always tell people that it is better to be married. The younger ones are not patient. Marriage is a journey of give and take. I am not perfect, my husband too is not perfect but we have to bend over to compliment each other. The younger ones are not that patient. It is better to be married. People respect you more when you are married. Unless it is impossible to live with a man because some men are impossible." Continue..
But for little, little differences, you have to tolerate each other. Companionship is nice. I will tell him my experiences and he will advise me. If a woman is successful and she does not have a husband, people would not respect her" she told Encomium
Tuesday, 28 October 2014
Aftermath of Divorce: Ini Edo acquires Car and N70m House in Lagos
The actress who recently had a messy separation from her American-based husband, Philip Ehiagwina, with her bride-price returned, is not ready to slow down at all. Few weeks about buying a very expensive G-Wagon, Ini Edo has bought a luxury mansion in Lekki, Lagos, worth about N70m.
The beautiful actress has already moved into the mansion. Check out the photos:
The beautiful actress has already moved into the mansion. Check out the photos:
Celebrity Interview: "I'm not bothered that people think I am arrogant" - Wizkid
Asked if it bothers him that people think he's arrogant, Wizkid said;
"Bother me? Never! I am not bothered. Honestly I don't hear people saying it because anytime I go out, I show my fans great love. I do my thing. I don't have problem with that because I don't love everybody as well. So I don't expect everybody to love me too. That's life" Continue...Asked if he is terrible person, Wizkid said;
"Terrible? Everyone has opinion about people. But when they say Wizkid is terrible, you need to ask them, "Why is Wizkid a terrible person? What did he do? For four years, I was making music with Samklef, everyone knew his house. I was going up and down, shouting, Samklef Nor Ni. That's me, I am just trying to be a good person. Whereas everyone cannot like you and everyone cannot hate you" he said.
Asked if fame has in anyway changed him, Wizkid said
"No, fame has not changed Wizkid. The only thing fame has changed in Wizkid is that I added some accessories. I have got nice chains, watches, and nice clothes. Asides that, I am still Wizkid. I no tall, still same height"
He also reacted to his recent controversy with singer Saeon,
"Oh really? She's bitter about it. I didn't see the allegation but I gave her hit song. I no try? I did my part. I was in the studio with her, gave her hit song. I no try. That's not even how much I charge for collaboration, I charge N10 million. I collected N1.5 million from her because of love. I was busy, I didn't want to do it" he said.
Asked about the comment that he doesn't charge those he loves, Wizkid said;
"Yeah I don't charge people I love. I said so but when someone is on your neck everyday for a collaboration and she offers you money, won't you collect it? If you fail to collect it, they start calling you terrible person. I am just trying to be a good guy"
On his fashion sense, Wizkid said;
"Fresh! Am I not looking fresh? I have always loved chains a lot. For me, I also see chains as investment because they ar gold and diamond. You can always sell anything gold and diamond. It is like an investment for me".
On why he loves to flaunt his accessories on social media, Wizkid said;
"You know now. I didn't have accessories when I started my career. Did you see me wearing bling-bling when I did Hola at your boi? No! I hustled to get money to buy them and there is no crime if I show it or flaunt it to my fans because they gave me money to buy them" he said
On where he invests his money, Wizkid said;
"I will say property but most importantly Jewelry. Do you know how much I can sell this chain on my neck when I get broke, God forbid? It's money and to me it's investment. I don't spend money on foolish things. I spend moderately. Besides I am a grown man. I have problems too. I have a child I am taking care of. I have responsibilities, believe it or not" he said
Asked if he is expecting another child, Wizkid said;
"Expecting wetin? Did I tell you I am expecting a child? Yes I didn't tell you guys when I was expecting my first child because people wanted to kill me but Honestly, nothing like that I am not expecting any child now"
Asked if he is getting married anytime soon,
Wizkid hissed and said "Wedding? No!"
Monday, 27 October 2014
Celebrity News: My boobs brought me to limelight—— Ronke Ojo
Ronke Ojo Anthony, whom everybody calls Oshodi Oke, due to her natural frontal endowment, is quite heavy. She is big in every ramification .If you want to be witty, naughty, smart or intelligent, Ronke is equal to the task and she is a good actress. The star actress, in this interview reveals intimate secrets about her life, career, marriage and future ambitions.
How did you come about acting?
I started acting as a result of some challenges that came my way when growing up. My father was a custom officer and my mother a grade II teacher. Things were smooth for us until my father had issues with the Nigeria Customs and there was a turn around. My mum’s income was not enough for our upkeep and as the first child of the family, I wanted to support her. I moved into selling of clothes and other petty businesses at Tincan Island . But before that, I had loved entertainment, simply by watching home videos. Music and films were part of me. I had a cousin who I used to accompany to Fadeyi to see a friend of his. Then actors had their caucus known as ‘Star Parade’ there and each time we went visiting, I felt like becoming part of them. In 1997, I walked up to Mufutau Oladokun (Baba Alaran) who later became my boss and that was how I found my way into the world of acting.
What is acting to you?
I believe the blood of acting runs in my family. Even my father was a member of cultural and theatre group in his university days at Obafemi Awolowo University, O.A.U. He was also part of stage productions like Macbeth where he even acted as a lady. But It took me sixteen times to get a scene right the first time I was in front of the camera; Although the film didn’t leave the shelf.
Apart from your innate passion for acting, who else inspired you into acting?
The late Ireti. I loved her acting and I am glad I worked with her before her demise. She was my heroine and mentor.
Some people refer to you as an illiterate because you never attended a university, your comment?
I have a good background and valued education. But going to the university was something I had to sacrifice when things became rough for my family. I have the plan of going back to school but as the breadwinner of my family, a career woman, mother and a wife, it has not been easy. But when the time comes, I will, even if it means going abroad to avoid distraction.
Your source of motivation?
I have seen many things in life that motivate me. But I get inspired when inside or around water. When I am in the bathroom, many things come to my mind. I love nature a lot.
Which film brought you to limelight?
It was Oshodi Oke, written and produced by Sunday Soyinka in 2000. A friend introduced me to him and I went to the location. On getting there, Iyabo Yoyo and the producer had issues and she left angrily. I didn’t know what was happening but I was given her role, the lead role in the movie. I never knew it was the lead role, the joy of having to take up such a big role was enough for me and I enjoyed every bit of it. When the film was premiered at the National Theatre, everybody loved it and that was when it dawned on me that I was cheated because I wasn’t made to understand I was taking a lead role or rewarded as such. But I was too happy to care, I shed tears.
How did you come about comedy?
It was Saheed Balogun who discovered that side of me when we were eating together in London. We were also watching a comedy film while eating. He looked sternly at me and told me I could do it. He did everything but I produced the film. All thanks to him.
How do you manage between comedy and other roles?
Acting is all make-believe and that is what it means to be called Ronke Oshodi Oke. Today, I could be a dancer, tomorrow a doctor and I must put out the character perfectly to remain relevant in the industry. Ronke Ojo and Ronke Oshodi Oke are two different people using one image.
You have big boobs, have they caused you any embarrassment?
Before now, I get ashamed of them. But I later began to see the beautiful side and stopped hiding them because they fit me. People appreciate my boobs and I also love it. My boobs are one of the things that brought me to limelight in the movie industry.
Is your boobs your selling point?
Yes, it is and apart from that it is one part of my body I cherish most.
How will you react to the increase in premarital sex among our youths?
Sex is a normal part of life just like money. I know I am a Yoruba ambassador but personally I believe any body above 18 and has a serious relationship can have sex even outside marriage. The couple should know what they have underneath their clothes before they get committed to each other for life. What if I do not like the size as a lady? Frankly, it is one of the reasons why many go into extra marital affairs. Even when a man has everything in the world and does not satisfy me sexually, there is serious trouble. I cannot go into a marriage and start regretting, besides, you won’t be able to tell your family members what you are going through in the name of marriage. I can not manage sex, it is either I enjoy it or disapprove it.
Are you happily married?
Yes, I am.
Why are you not living with your spouse?
I prefer how we live apart. At the early stage of our courtship, it was a bone of contention but later he knew what I wanted and I appreciate him for that. If I really want to be successful in my marriage and career, this is how best we feel we can go about it.
It was also gathered that you once broke up with your spouse?
I met my husband in1999 after Ronke Oshodi Oke came out. We became lovers in 2000 but we could not move to the next level because of certain differences. Most Nigerian guys would think twice before marrying an actress. We dated for four years and went our separate ways. In-between those four years I met another guy whom I had my first child for. A year after I had my first issue, my then lover, who is now my husband came back and we began our affair in secret, though he proposed to me three times during the time.
Why the secret affair?
I did not want to have kids for different men. But because we were best of friends, he was always there for me and we were in love, we settled our differences and came back together.
Why did you leave the father of your first child?
He wanted me to come stay in Canada with him and I can not live outside Nigeria for any reason, I can only go visiting . Moreover, living in Canada will affect my career. I could not get happiness from the union but I waited five years before going into another marriage officially.
Can we say it is one of the reasons you are reluctant to live with your husband?
Not at all. It only shows we understand ourselves very well. My husband is my friend.
How have you been coping as mother, career woman and a wife?
It has not been easy but as an African woman I have been managing well. Besides, I have a very supportive mother and an understanding husband. My children stay with my mum and I come around when I am free.
Despite your popularity, why did it take so long to get citizenship card for your son?
Getting a citizenship card has its processes irrespective of who you are and I don’t believe in using the back door in doing things.
If you have the chance to marry an actor, which actor would you go for?
Many journalists have asked this same question but I dodge the question each time. Honestly, I would go for Akin Lewis because he is a very matured man who I hold in high esteem.
Yoruba films seem to promote the act of one person doing almost everything in a film, why?
Film-making ought to be a division of labour but at the same time, one can decide to be a jack of all trades so far it is done well. At times, there could be difficulty in getting the right person for the job. If you could not get a person to interprete a particular role, what is wrong with doing it yourself? I am not good at scriptwriting so I invite someone who does that for me and we later come together to edit.
What are those things you think need to be changed or corrected in Nollywood?
I will do a thorough screening of those joining the industry. Different people have different talents. Not all of us must be in front of the cameras. There is a place for everyone.We can not all be in entertainment too.
Why is single motherhood on the increase in Nigeria?
Our men want to live the way our forefathers did, and it is almost impossible. But our fathers never asked their wives for money. I mean they didn’t share financial responsibilities with their wives and this made it easy for their wives to be 100% dependent, loyal and respectful to them. It will be difficult for a man who shares responsibilities with his wife to control her fully. Many homes today have the wife as the breadwinner. And this is not because the man does not have money but because he is only irresponsible and doesn’t want to face his responsibilities squarely. I cannot respect a man who does not know how I do my things or even respect my opinion. When we have two masters in a ship, the ship will capsize. Many men have one wife but with numerous concubines.
How do you relate with male friends?
I relate with them like any other lady. It is just one of the principles of life that opposite sex attracts one another more.
Anything new from you?
I am working on a comedy film that will be in pidgin English to make it universal. Also, I will be releasing my album by November 17th featuring Oritsefemi and others.
News Update: Eight years after, abandoned kids reunite with father
Emotions ran wild on Friday when Segun Adepegba, the father of the three children abandoned in a boarding school in Abule-Iroko, in the Ado-Odo Ota Local Government Area of Ogun State, finally reunited with his children.
Adepegba, who visited Solid Rock Model College where they had been abandoned for eight years, was locked in a tight embrace with his children, promising never to leave them again.
Adepegba told his children, “I am sorry for leaving you, Titi, Seun and Seyi. I am really very sorry. I have missed you all so much. I will not leave you again.”
Many were greatly moved as father and children bonded in what they described as “a mystery and a miracle.”
Last week, PUNCH Metro had exclusively reported the story of the abandoned children, Seun, 14, Titilola 13, and Seyi 10.
The story of the abandoned children reached its climax on Friday when Adepegba bowed to pressure after reading the reports in PUNCH Metro and visited the school.
When he arrived, an angry mob was prevented from attacking him when they learnt he was the father of the “abandoned children.”
The father of three was accompanied by four friends who pleaded on his behalf, saying that he was a changed person.
A friend of the school proprietor, Mr. Ademola Adeyemi , described Adepegba’s return as a miracle, saying he had held vigils to ensure that he returned. “This has shown that God truly answers prayers, “he said.
The news of Adepegba’s arrival attracted passers-by and residents who trooped into the school compound to see him. The students of the school also gathered in groups, discussing the story. They were all smiles seeing their friends reunited with their father.
This moment of joy and reminiscence, however, lasted for a short time as the staff of the school and the residents swooped on Adepegba, blasting him for abandoning his children.
A mild drama ensued when an aged sports facilitator in the school, Godfrey Olopele, who sighted Adepegba from the gate, asked, “Is this the father of the children?” When told it was him, he said, “I have some words for this man. You have not done well. You are very wicked. How could you abandon your children for so long?”
Adepegba’s friends, who spoke with PUNCH Metro, said he never told them he had children in a boarding school.
One of them, identified as Mr. Muyiwa Akinseye, said, “I have known Adepegba for a very long time but I never knew that he had children somewhere. It was until I saw his photograph in the PUNCH that I was shocked to know that my friend had some children somewhere. He had never mentioned a thing like that. I still wondered why he kept something as important as this from me.”
Another friend of Adepegba, identified as Ola, said, “I am a father and I can’t leave my child for that long. Adepegba’s behaviour is really condemnable. When I saw his picture on the PUNCH front page, I had jokingly told him, ‘Adepegba, you have become a superstar. So you have children somewhere?’ I was surprised.”
Adepegba swallowed the rebuke in penitence, prostrating himself intermittently before a crowd in the expansive hall of the school.
He said, “I have offended a lot of people. I have offended my children. I have offended Nigerians. I accept all the blame. And I am really very sorry. I understand that what I have done is very wrong. I was afraid of two things: One was that if I came here, I would be arrested and the second reason was the accumulated debt of the children’s school fees. I reasoned that if I should come to the school, I would be handed over to the police.
“I really miss my children and this time around, I am going to change. I want them to have a good educational background so that they can become important persons in the future. I don’t want them to suffer. I will never leave them again. But all these years, I have been battling with hard times. Things have been very tough for me.
His excuse, however, seemed to aggravate the issue, as more people chided him for his negligence. The Chairman, Parent-Teacher Association of the school, Mr Busari, urged Adepegba to seek the face of God in prayers.
He said, “I advise you to lock up yourself for three days in deep prayers. It is only then that God will open doors for you. You have committed a grievous offence. You have put the proprietor of the school and residents of the neighbourhood into trouble with your untoward behaviour. It is only after doing this that God would forgive you and open doors for you.”
A teacher, Mrs Grace Ajayi, described Adepegba as a bad example of a father. She urged him to look for his wife and reconcile with her. She said it was unfortunate that while many couples were praying to have children, Adepegba chose to abandon his.
Recounting his ordeal, the school proprietor, Mr Samuel Ayegbusi, said he suffered in the hands of the police when Titilola ran away from the school.
“When Titilola ran away from the school and I went to report the matter at the Sango Ota Police Division, the police arrested me, saying I was the first suspect . The matter caused trouble in this community and the issue dented my image. I was forced to cough out close to N50,000 to be bailed,” he said.
Adepegba, however, promised to visit the children regularly. He appreciated many PUNCH readers that indicated interest to pay his children’s debts.
Although Adepegba’s children were relieved that their father was back, they told PUNCH Metro that they were still longing to meet their mother. Seun, the eldest, expressed his joy on the fact that he would not have to spend the holidays in the school hostel while Seyi, the youngest, asked her father to buy her a gift.
Titilola said, “I am very excited that my father is back. All I can say is that I am happy. But I want to see my mother too.”
Adepegba told our correspondent that he would look for their mother. He said her name is Ruth Okochi from Ogwashi-Uku in the Aniocha South Local Government Area of Delta State.
“I know a place she lives in Abuja but I am not sure if she still lives there. I owe it a responsibility to find her for the sake of my children,” he said.
COURTERSY: PUNCH NEWSPAPER.
Thursday, 9 October 2014
Waje Addresses Women On Marriage
Singer Waje, who has recently come up with the new music video ‘No Be You’, spoke about relationships and addressed ladies.Singer Waje, who recently come up with the ne video 'No Be You' , spoke about relationships and addressed ladies. According to Nigeriafilms, the beauty in her message urged women to first understand what they really want to see in their partner in order to be able to recognize the right person.
Waje also insisted that marriage is not about sex, but about sacred bond of the two meant for each other.
“Man and woman were made of the same material. Adam says, ‘She is bone of my bone.’ When you find a person with whom you are compatible, there is a bonding that consummates marriage that has nothing to do with sex. I also understand how you could feel this person to be the only choice in the world. Everyone you meet isn’t bone of your bone! It is important that you do not allow anyone to manipulate you into choosing someone with whom you have no bond.”
She stated the importance for every person to have the “sense of belonging”,which could be shared by the two “thirsty hearts at the oasis of a loving commitment”.
It would be recalled that back in May, Waje spoke about her private life and daughter in a sincere interview. The singer revealed she had not met the right person for herself, however she mentioned that being a single mother is “beautiful” and thanked God for everything she had been granted in life.
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